Do you ever get hit with so many curveballs at once you just kind of stand there stunned and take it? That’s how this last month has felt for me. In my ever-increasing effort to be an all around better person, I have really been trying to work on my ability to roll with the punches, and this month has been an exercise in that for sure.
First, Husband lost his job. We kind of knew this was coming because of how the economy is going in his line of work, but it still didn’t make the situation easy. Previously his work schedule had him working for two weeks back in Louisiana, then he got to come home for two weeks here in Florida. The schedule wasn’t ideal, but we have done it for a while now so we learned how to make it work for us. I was stressed about him losing his job and worried about money, but honestly my heart was really happy that he had a chance to be here full time with me in Florida if he could find a local job. Eventually the job offers started to roll in and he did get a new job, but it was back in Louisiana. The unfortunate part is that the job requires him to be there Monday through Friday. So instead of having him home more, he will be here less. A lot less. We are hoping he can take a long weekend and come to visit about once a month. We both agreed that even though it was a tough decision for our family, it was the best option. Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful he has a new job. I just really had my heart set on him being home with me more. I married the guy after all, I kind of like when he’s around!
This last week I had a break between didactic and clinical year. So instead of relaxing and studying up for my first rotation, I helped pack up all Husband’s stuff to essentially move out. It was pretty sad to say the least. It’s a weird feeling being in such a great place in our relationship, but still watching him move out of the apartment. We did get to take the dogs to the beach though, and we really tried to enjoy our last few days together for a while. I am happy he has a job now and we can get back on track with finances, but I am really going to miss him. Long distance marriage does not sound like fun. We are both pretty strong people, and we have lived this type of schedule before just not as extreme. I know we will both do what is needed to make time for each other with calls and skype, but it will be challenging. Whose socks am I going to find in random places? Who am I going to yell at for not changing the toilet paper roll?? Kidding aside, love actually is pretty funny like that. The things that annoy the crap out of you at first, eventually become the things you love about the person.
Since I would be living here by myself now, we decided it would be best for me to move in with my PA school bestie. I am really excited about this. I feel like it’s college all over again! I think living together will be beneficial for both of us. We will both be on rotations and have crazy schedules. Plus it’s much harder to be lazy and not study when there is someone else around to hold you accountable, right? Now its my turn to pack up all of my stuff. Personally, I think when you go to hell, you are destined for an eternity of packing up, moving out, and unpacking over and over and again. I should know. For the last 10 years, I have moved at least once a year which you would think makes me an expert packer, but no. I am really going to try my best to make this a purging opportunity. I have so much stuff in my closet and yet classically have “nothing to wear”. This will be a great time to get rid of the old to make way for a better more cohesive wardrobe. Even though cleaning out your closet can be miserable at times, it feels so great once you are finished. Who doesn’t love a fresh start?
On the school front, as of Thursday, I didn’t have a clinical site to go to for my first rotation. There was a paperwork mishap, and I got lost in the shuffle. This set me into a minor panic. They are working on figuring things out, but I still won’t know all the details until tomorrow. Which just happens to also be the first day. I am trying to remember that no matter what happens, I need to show up tomorrow and be an all-star. I need to smile and be gracious and be ready to learn and do whatever is asked of me. Sometimes you have to “fake it till you make it”.
So after all of that, its safe to say the struggle has been real this week. Even with some tears and some major anxiety, I found it a good time to reflect. If any of these things had happened to me five or six years ago, it would have set my world on fire. When Husband and I first started dating, I did not have a good handle on dealing with any kind of setback. I would freak out over the smallest things and let it entirely ruin my day or even week. I remember one time totally losing my shit because he drove down a parking lot row the wrong way. Seriously, I had no chill, and it made me a miserable person. I think that is one of the best things Husband has taught me so far: roll with the punches. Over the last six years he has slowly been loosening up his oh-so-tightly wound wife, and I think it is finally paying off. It’s comforting to know I have finally learned one of life’s biggest lessons: SHIT HAPPENS. Things will happen that are out of your control all the time, and for a type A control freak that was really hard for me to swallow. The sooner you learn to be adaptable, the sooner you will be at peace with yourself no matter what life throws at you.
It’s a beautiful day today here in Florida. A perfect day to open the windows and get some fresh air. A perfect day to take the dogs for a long walk and clear my head. A perfect day to get my game face on and get ready for the moment I’ve been waiting for for so long, my first day of clinical rotations tomorrow.
Any thoughts on how to handle long-distance marriage, clinical rotations, or just how to be an all around badass at life? I’d love to hear about it!